As some of you may have noticed, recently, I have been finding it nearly impossible to write. For some reason, every time I sit down to relay my thoughts via the keyboard my mind freezes and I end up blankly staring at the computer screen. I have been having some amazing experiences down here so it’s not for lack of material. My time in the lab has become less intense so it is not for lack of time. Am I finally cracking under the pressure of composing something funny for the masses?
I have heard it said that most great writers turn to their muse for inspiration when the words just absolutely refuse to flow. Now I am not insinuating that I am a great writer but am nonetheless confused by my sudden inability to compose. So what is it I ask myself…what is it that is missing? What has changed in my simple little life down here that has transformed me in a matter of weeks from a blabbering idiot with verbal diarrhea into a wallflower with nothing at all to say?
Oh my god…I’ve got it…I know what’s wrong……diarrhea is my muse....!
The reason I can no longer write is due to the return of normal bowel function! So what the hell should I do? I don’t want perpetual diarrhea anymore, but then again, I don’t want to be a wallflower with nothing to say either! Okay, let’s think this through with rational thought…I need to write. I have a responsibility to relay my jungle experiences. The answer is clear to me….I will simply ingest a few Ex-Lax when it comes time to compose. Nothing wrong with that right? Wrestlers do it all the time when it’s time to perform and not to mention I could use a little chocolate coating for the sweet tooth. So it’s settled, I have decided what I must do. I’m off to the Swiss Family Robinson Room to raid Mel’s first aid kit. Should only take a few hours before I know if the creative juices are starting to flow!