For the first 2 weeks at La Selva, I happily lived the life of a bachelor(ette). I could stumble into the Swiss Family Robinson Room in the wee hours of morning and poor myself into bed and not worry if my drunkin’ snores would wake anyone. I found a sense of freedom in the ability to swagger around the room naked, allowing the numerous bug bites to ooze without fear of judgment. I began to feel a peculiar sense of pride for the musk that wafted from the confines of my room which was no doubt a result of dirty socks strewn over chairs, underwear balled up and thrown into a distant corner, bug spray and mildew soaked everything, and empty Dominoes boxes on the bookshelf…okay, you got me…there is no jungle delivery…its Digiorno. But down here, despite all of the glamorous attributes, the life of a SWF (single white female) is very yin and yang. Without someone to laugh at my jokes, or kill the giant spider that lurks in the cabinet threatening to eat my face off at any moment, life became a little lonely. Oh how I wish I could be like the other researchers....I wanna’ roomie!!!
Not being one to stew in my own misery, I decided to place an add in the back page of the Jungle Times. It read; SWF seeks jungle companion for long walks in the swamp to search for frogs, snakes, birds, and such. Must like to eat rice and beans for every meal, drink Imperial, Pilsen, Flor de Cane, and/or Costa Rican Firewater, not be offended by the sight of my sweaty ass not so gracefully descending down from the top bunk first thing in the morning, talk openly and without embarrassment about bodily functions, listen to me go on and on and on about my three little furry babies back home, and most importantly not annoy the bloody hell out of me. Would prefer a HSM (hot single male) 28-35 years old, but would also consider a SF (single female), SM (single male), K9C (K-9 Companion), or GJL (Giant Jungle Lesbian) as long as you promise not to steal my sweet camo pants and bandanas.
As the old saying goes…ask and you shall receive. One balmy summer afternoon no different than any other, I meandered back to the River Station anticipating a rejuvenating solo yoga session in the comforts of my musty bachelorette pad and as I opened the door I laid eyes on the answer to my lonely cries. There sitting on the lower bunk, feet kicked back and drinking an ice cold Imperial sat Melanie….insert The Dating Game theme song here…and “Hit it Bob!”….”Melanie is a 34 student currently living in Port Angeles Washington with her long term boyfriend Pete, 3 cats, and a three legged dog named Jeb. In her free time, Melanie enjoys incredibly long walks in the jungle at night without a flashlight, loves birds, and can most often be found scanning the canopy with her trusty binoculars and guide book tucked neatly into the fanny pack around her waist. Melanie is looking forward to spending the entire summer collecting soil from the god forsaken jungle, extracting DNA, running PCR, and cloning!”
As I sit here and look around the room, I realize that the bachelorette pad is no more. Even though The Swiss Family Robinson room is little more cluttered and there is a new component to the musk, overall, life has been great with Ol’ Mel! I wouldn’t trade her for the world unless of course a HSM answers the lonely jungle call and then sorry Mel, you gotta go…but all in all we are like a match made in jungle heaven.